What would I do?

I don't know why I always destroy that which is most precious to me. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to me being happy and successful. I've thrown away the one thing I truly cared about, my relationship with a very special friend. Over the past two years, she has opened my eyes to the world and helped me change in very positive ways. To repay her, I've caused her pain and ended a very close friendship. All because I'm an overreactive retard.

I hope that in the future I can intercept my stupidity before it overrides my good judgement. This is very much a Dan moment. All I can hear in my head is "Stimpy, you Eediot!" Those of you that have known and loathed me for any length of time know that I'm prone to fits of rage and outrageous stupidity. I appreciate the kindness and understanding you've shown me even if it's been mostly of the "very good little retard" variety.

I know this is a rather introspective entry, but in light of everything that is going on in my life I hope that you, gentle reader, can understand my need to expose myself to the harsh light of day.

Very soon I suspect, the vitriol will return. I can feel it in my bones.