Like Sands Through The Hour Glass...

...yada yada yada (actually I can't remember the exact wording).

As the year draws to a close I am once again feeling a wee bit reflective on the days past. Discounting the miserable hell that is my job a great many things have been good.

1) My significant other. She is the light of my life, and a pain in my ass (which is a good thing, it keeps me on my toes)

2) My house. Having a place to call home helps to assuage my tortured soul and bring a measure of calm to the shitstorm that is my life. It's also a great place to crank up Rock Band so I can't hear myself beating the shit out of the plastic drums.

3) Concerts. This year has been an embarassment of riches in that regard. I am a full-blown concert whore and have little faith that the coming year can match the selection and talent that this year brought. From Ozzy and Rob Zombie at the start of the year to Iron Maiden and Monsters of Rock in the summer and ending with Paul Van Dyk and Metallica at the twilight of this anum, my brain is fairly melting from the sheer number of amazing bands I've seen.

Kirk Hammett from Metallica.

4) Friends. As always, good friends are one of my anchors. They help ground me, and join in (or start) assorted schenanigans that generally involve copious amounts of certain frothy beverages.



5) Music. While I haven't had the time to invest as I did in the past, when I can do it I still lose myself and forget the world around me. With the addition of a sexy new bass guitar to my collection all that's left is to purchase a set of electronic drums. It is interesting to see the confluence of two very different styles of music and how they come together when dumped in my brain and set to puree.

6) Video Games. In a similar fashion to music making, a good game can be cathartic. With many games the release I feel is generally due to my being able to blow shit up in a spectacular fashion. Topping the list for this year is Mercenary 2. The effect of exploding fuel tanks as seen from the cockpit of a helicopter is quite a sight to see.

With that I bid you adieu. I raise my pint and wish you all the best for the coming year.

The (Dis) Illusionist

Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it
-George Santayana

Recent events have led me to believe that I am forever doomed to repeat my past mistakes, be they in my professional or my personal life. Of particular note is the direction my corporate masters have chosen to take with the company.

The industry in which I work can be very unpredictable. Catastrophic loss situations come without warning, throwing everyday life into complete disarray. The upper class twits that rule from on high have seen fit to employ people with production backgrounds at the upper echelons of the corporate structure. Henry Ford invented the production line. To build cars, not to deal with 100 flooded basements.

To their credit, I can see where certain techniques can be lifted from large scale manufacturing and applied to what I do. I take issue with the pencil-necked, bookworm, micromanaging douchebags that think everything can be run by a strict set of rules, governed by some fucking spreadsheet or flow chart devised by someone that has never seen two feet of raw sewage in a basement let alone been the poor fuck sent in to clean up the aforementioned fecal matter.

The principles they are trying to apply are good only in theory, the single most important factor left out of the equation is the human one. You cannot quantify humanity and their associated foibles into a number that you punch into Excel and spit out a nice colorful pie chart.

Trying to put the sort of controls in place that they are will lead to their utter ruination. They leave no buffer to deal with the inevitable issues that creep into every project, be it large or small. There is no way to predict nor schedule "Mrs. Jones" psychosis into the equations they propose.

By removing the human element and trying to boil down the restoration process into raw numeric data is sheer folly. I'm tempted to take a step back and watch the tragic comedy unfolding before my very eyes, but only so I can laugh and point when it blows up in their faces. On the other hand, my personal frustration of being reduced to a powerless, faceless "employee number x" leads me to believe that yet once again I'm faced with the grim reality that I need to change, at the very least my employer, if not the very field that I'm employed in.

With the recent departure of our branch manager (or mangler depending on your perspective) I've seen numerous asians in the armor developing within the ranks. Lacking the figurehead to "lead" them (and I use the term very loosely) the herd is beginning to tear itself apart from within. Many other things have come to light, most of which are rather disconcerting to myself and the other management staff and despite our best efforts to bring some cohesive leadership, our grip on the beast that has emerged is tenuous at best.

In addition to the internal strife, as customers learn that someone new has assumed control of their file they are employing all sorts of tactics to try and gain from this situation. The most common is that certain extras were promised that were never documented or claiming certain portions of work are required as a part of the claim, many of which I consider dubious. I am left in the unenviable position of trying to ascertain what is and is not relevant to the original loss and calm down irate customers that feel like they've been left high and dry with no answers.

I am in full on damage control mode right now. Trying to plow through the approximately 100 open files I had prior and deal with the 100 new files I've just inherited. I can only react as new fires ignite the second I quell the one previous. The mental stress is beyond description. My formerly razor-sharp wit is presently as keen as a stone smoothed by hundreds of thousands of years lying at the bottom of a river.

Essentially I'm dumber than a sack of hammer handles.

Working 70+ hours a week with no obvious gain (unless you consider no social nor sex life a gain) is beyond my comprehension. Yet if I don't put in these hours, things slip further and further out of my control.

I had the luxury of having a very close friend visit me this past weekend. As well other friends I rarely speak to anymore all chose that weekend to call and invite me out for various social functions. It put my current situation in sharp contrast with what it could be.

I find it criminal that I've put myself in the same position I was in with my former employer. Despite my best efforts I continue to fall prey to my own subconscious machinations. My self-destructive streak runs far deeper than I had previously thought.

I need to excise this tumor from my soul and escape the land of the living dead.

Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine.

I know of the evil empire that is Monsanto. Having grown up in Saskatchewan I can't not know of this entity and their heinous machinations. The LAST place I would have expected to read an article about this behemoth and their genetically-modified, chemically induced hegemony would be here. I must admit that I am flabbergasted. That a chick magazine could have such editorial depth turns all of my ideals on its head. What is this world coming to?

Yes I'm being facetious, but only slightly. I'm impressed that such a magazine would present this kind of material to its audience, but honestly this is something that is more fitting of, oh maybe, the New York FUCKING Times. It is a testament to the true power that Monsanto wields that this piece of journalism is relegated to a rag only read by suburban soccer moms and not the world at large.

BTW, I came to find this article from Slashdot, yet again another example of the technorati disseminating important information to the masses of the technologically proficient and doing my part I am passing this unto you.

Clawesome Detective Work.

An item of some newsworthy note recently came to my attention. One ignorant, bottom-feeding, mentally deficient, retard stole a car in Calgary from a small car dealer, taking it for a "test drive".

The dealer put up a post on Beyond.ca, a collection of like minded car enthusiasts, about the theft with a description of the car and the perpetrator.

The rocket scientist in question not only stole a VERY noticeable and relatively rare car, but he also had the cajones to drive it around acting like it was his own to the degree of challenging other tuner cars in the city to street races. Just to point out the utter stupidity of this putz, he also has two missing fingers on his left hand. How this misguided, halfwit, miscreant thought that he would not get caught is beyond this writers ability to fathom.

In no time the car was spotted and over the course of 24-48 hours on member of the group found the home address and another stopped by and boxed the car in and waited for the police to arrest the offender. This is just the basic highlights of the whole saga, if you want to read more check out this thread at Beyond.ca.

The gist of this entry is that while some of the humour directed toward the unwitting douchebag that had the audacity to steal a tuner car verges on the heinous (yes I laughed just as loud, if not louder than anyone else), a couple of people showed up in a failed attempt at defending "The Claw" as he's been dubbed.

The comments made by the inbred, grammatically challenged simpleton's are both embarrassing and horrifying at the same time and provides further evidence of the need for a government mandated eugenics program. With a few exceptions, the forum members present their arguments in a clear and concise manner, yet not once does any of these asshat's do anything but make broad declarations of the mental incompetence of the forum.

I found this whole epic saga engrossing, in a slow, train crashing into a semi, sort of way. I was left incredulous as I read some of the posts on both sides of the argument. At the end it leaves me greatly saddened, having witnessed yet another very public example of the base stupidity of people taken as a whole.

You may find the lack of ranting rather disconcerting, but I honestly don't even know where to begin as the forum thread really says it all. You would be doing yourself a great disservice by not checking it out and at least reading the first few pages. Be sure to look far enough to check out some of the brilliant "photochops" therein.

Peace Out.
Jason

A Tragic Loss.

On Friday morning a small plane crashed near Wainwright. All five aboard perished. I knew personally, two of the people on that plane. One was a good friend of mine, the other a subtrade that I spoke to frequently.

I am still in shock over what happened and as more details of the crash come to light, the whole thing just seems all the more surreal in my mind. I've reached a point that I no longer want to know anymore than I do as to the circumstances of the crash as the scenes that play out in my mind are far too disturbing.

I am not looking forward to returning to work tomorrow as I have to review my files and determine the status and make difficult decisions as to how to deal with the loss of a colleague. I also have to prepare for the funeral of a friend, something that never gets easier no matter how many times you go through it.

All in all, March is definitely the month of the year that I dread above all others. A great many negative things have come to pass in this month over the years, not the least of which is the deaths of people near and dear to me.

-Adieu

Nerds of the world untie!

We can finally throw off the shackles of our oppressive, oafish, overlords. Yes, I am talking about the wedgie-giving, terror inducing, jock douchebags of yesteryear. Long have been the days I have dreamed of our world domination. The slack-jawed cretins of our youth are firmly in the palm of our hands, slaves to the technology that we have created.

I am speaking of cell-phones, ipods, computers, these internet thing-a-ma-bobs and Guitar Hero and Rock Band that todays society have knit into the fabric of life quite nicely

I almost feel sorry for you hockey-playing, beer-swilling, nit-wits that thought you knew it all back in the day, but guess what?

You don't know shit.

Now gentle reader, before you go getting your pretty, flowery panties all in a bunch I personally exclude from the aforementioned group the honestly talented and hard-working athletes in professional sports today (yep all 3 of them).

This post is directed at the hockey-dad dipshits that I encounter FAR to fucking often. They remind me of the single-minded, brain-damaged, ogrin that didn't beat me up because they lacked the mental capacity to understand that I what I was saying was actually a hack.

You know who you are, and yes I was making fun of you. You are just too fucking stupid to know it.

I am declaring victory for all of the downtrodden, dispossessed, 98 pound geniuses that come up with the shit that I think is cool. I am no longer afraid to say that I know a thing or two about computers (actually I usually play dumb as everyone wants me to fix their busted rig). Yes I play video games and damned well enjoy it, and I can set up and configure a Windows Server Network in a pinch. I can build a computer from bare parts in about 15 minutes. I reinstall my OS regularly because I use Beta software. I know what "Beta" software is. I know what IDE, SATA, USB and the rest of the miscellany actually stand for and what their use is. I read Ars Technica and Slashdot for fun and I can program HTML in code view, etcetera, etcetera (and I can spell etcetera without spell-check).

Just so you don't get the wrong idea, I've embraced my Geek-power. I no longer fear it. In today's world it is an asset, not a liability. Yet I have many interests outside the tech world. I am an avid reader. Those of you that know me, know my love for music of all styles and I have strong interests in politics and religion (mainly as fodder to rant about), and I am an artist, dabbling in many forms, from music to drawing to writing.

So for those of you struggling to understand where to plug in the HDMI cable in your rig or trying to understand the difference between HD-DVD and Blu-ray, all I can say is GET FUCKED! Were I a less hostile, more empathetic person I might forgive the trespasses of your youth, but guess what dickwad? I'm a vindictive asshole that enjoys lording my superiority over your slovenly ass at every opportunity I get.

Revenge is sweet.