Miserable, Murderous Hell

That is the only way I can describe moving from one city to another when you work all week in the city you're moving to and only have the weekend to drive back and pack up your shit. Were it not for my amazing friends (not Cory, he's an asshole :) ) I think I would have long since lost the last shred of sanity that I have in a choke hold.

Today was especially horrendous. I had the unenviable pleasure of driving the cube van that we have from Edmonton to Calgary. Picture this, no air, no cruise and NO FUCKING RADIO! I spent a good portion of the time text messaging on my crackberry just to keep my mind off of the fact that my right foot went numb after 20 minutes of driving. Just to do the speed limit on the autobahn (a.k.a. Highway 2) I literally had to stand on the gas pedal.

Upon my arrival in Cowtown I was greeted with the revelation that they (they being the illustrious city planners) decided to turn the Deerfoot into a fucking parking lot. I understand the need to repair infrastructure, but please enlighten me on the wisdom of paving all but one lane at the same time.

Lacking a radio to listen to the traffic report, I was unable to foresee this screwed up mess and navigate an alternate route. Adding insult to injury, the wonderful drivers of Calgary lived up to their reputation of being collosal, spastic, fucking, morons. Whilst trying to merge into the ONE open lane, having engaged my turn signal well before, two witless retards thought it would be wise to not let me in and blast ahead of me. The second of the two nearly met his maker as he just avoided hitting me and the concrete median. Had the aforementioned brainless, dipshit actually collided with me I guarantee there would have been a bloody mess for the authorities to deal with and I would be hauled off to the hoosgow in steel bracelets.

I will never understand the lack of etiquette and common courtesy so prevalent among Calgary drivers. It only takes a moment to let one vehicle merge ahead of you and by doing so traffic flows so much better.

Let this be a lesson to you all, the next person you blaze in front of in a situation like this may very well be me. I am quickly losing patience for this kind of behavior and if I'm driving a truck the size of the one I was today, I guarantee you will lose.