Lately I've been forced to revisit my past. A past that most, if not all of you know only bits and pieces of. I have a great many skeletons in my closet that have stayed there these great many years because I didn't know how to deal with them. Truth be told I still don't but by getting them out into the light of day they somehow seem to lose their power somewhat.
Today's ghost is one that will surely horrify and disturb you as it has me for far too long. After the death of my best friend, at a point in my life when I was extremely confused and vulnerable, I was approached by a pedophile.
I was biking to my grand parents house to visit my great-grandmother. He pulled up beside me in his car and asked me to help him.
I will never forget his face.
He propositioned me and told me it wouldn't hurt. The one thing that is forever ingrained in my mind is the patch on his jacket. It said 'Coach'. I never said anything to anyone about this incident, I was just too embarrassed and scared to do so. I told him no, and continued on my way, but I still wonder how many boys he's abused over the years and I had the opportunity to stop him. I've lived with this guilt every day since then.
I know my life has been more and less traumatic than others, but we each deal with adversity differently. I've grown weary of carrying the burden that I have and this blog has become one of my outlets to try and ease the load the weighs upon my soul.
I don't expect you, gentle reader, to even remotely understand the hell that I've had to deal with in my life, I just hope that you can give me a modicum of understanding and accept me warts and all.
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