Friday, February 16, 2007

The Fog of War.

Lately I've been battling some demons from my past. With some we've come to a gentleman's agreement, with others I've won. Unfortunately there are still a few that I thought I had defeated but were only playing dead only to rise up and kick me in the junk.

Today my head felt as if it were going to explode. The white noise inside my brain was nigh on unbearable. The unfortunate side effect of this was my inability to properly deal with the resulting anger and my overaggressive reaction to, under normal circumstances, would be something that I could laugh off, basically pull the N.M.P. card on the whole situation.

It's been a difficult week and that is the only reason I can see that I let something so trivial as a retarded project manager's stupidity get under my skin. My own inability to properly deal with life's many stresses is likely going to be my downfall. How exactly is it going to transpire? Well, let me tell you I wait with baited breath.

Knowing that YOU are the architect of your own demise, yet feeling powerless to stop the train wreck that you see coming, in a word, it sucks.

Really, really lots.

I grow weary of the constant self examination. I just want things to be easy for a change. I would love for someone to print a list of things from my past that are beneficial and then wipe my memory. I really think brains should come with a reset switch. It would make life so much more enjoyable for people like me.

With modern medicine being what it is, I think one of you rocket scientists out there should research this and make it happen.

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